Quite commonly people turn to tarot card reading when they’re having difficulty with love life, or perhaps the lack of. As everyone has wanted answers at one time or another to help fathom the mysteries of the human heart, using tarot cards for this purpose is a reasonable thing to expect.

However, reading your own tarot cards is especially difficult when it comes to romance and relationships. People are sensitive and emotions often run high, so keeping an open mind is tough when you’re so personally invested. As I’ve mentioned before on my site (How to read tarot cards: a very short overview), I do not believe we are always the best people to judge our lives and we can be the most unreliable narrators of our own stories.

In such circumstances a different perspective can be invaluable, particularly if it’s one you might not have gotten to by yourself.

For me, when I give a tarot reading to a client, man or woman, who is seeking answers regarding love I first consider whether the question they are asking is the right one for the situation. You can find more about this in my code of ethics, but some questions are inappropriate and I will not give a reading on. Some other questions may seem of utmost importance to you but are not necessarily going to provide answers that offer any practical help. For more guidance on this, please read How TimelyTarot works FAQ section.

Following these considerations, the next thing I like to do is picture in my mind that of a metaphorical garden. I shall explain why.

Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@nagesh">Nagesh Badu</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com">Unsplash</a>

Photo by Nagesh Badu on Unsplash

Professional writers and tarot card readers alike both often love a good metaphor. They are powerful psychological tools, as they take an abstract and hard to understand idea (love and relationships) and compare it to a simple, concrete, well-understood idea.

For me, I have a passionate interest in gardening. Therefore I understand the idea of nurturing and growing something from nothing, with the aim of making it a thing of beauty to be relished. Yes every garden experiences ups and downs throughout the different seasons, and every subsequent year will also bring new different trials and tribulations. But the more you work on your garden, and the better you know its strengths and weaknesses, then the more robust your plants will grow and the deeper the satisfaction you will feel.

Ultimately, a well nurtured garden can bring a fulfilment to life that is almost spiritual.

Therefore you can probably see how a garden can be comparable to a romantic relationship. More than this, I see a lot of common problems in client’s love lives equally relating to this metaphor. For anyone who knows much about gardening the key is to understand the main features of your garden, understand your own expectations and ultimately their limits.  

For example, say you have a small north-facing garden that is surrounded by tall trees. All these features together mean that your garden will receive very little sunshine throughout the day, even in the summer months. Therefore if you had your heart set on a superb display of peonies then your hopes will likely lead to disappointment.

Similarly if you are dating a man who has a very shy and introverted nature and lacks confidence talking to and engaging with others, then his failure to dazzle your friends and family at parties and social gatherings may not be a fault with him but an example of your unreasonable expectations.

From this if you know your garden receives little sun, and this is something that is unlikely to change anytime soon, you might consider other options before giving up entirely. Maybe after some research you fall in love with the look of container gardens with potted begonias and can still enjoy a wondrous and rich garden, albeit not the one you first intended.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that things cannot be changed. In a garden indeed you should step in and look to make necessary changes, otherwise it’s not a garden at all but just a patch of wilderness. Same for relationships, by definition they are about people coming together and not acting as they would if left entirely on their own. People in relationships have to adapt and make comprises, so like with gardening to improve conditions and encourage a thriving environment.

This is another point that often gets forgotten. Relationships are a partnership, and should be equally beneficial. If you’re putting in all the work but not getting anything worthwhile out of it, then maybe it’s time to move onto greener pastures.

And so from this, how can you know the key features of a relationship? How can you discern between things that can be changed and the things that cannot? How can you decide which of your expectations are unreasonable and worth revising, and which are essential to your future happiness?

Who knows? Maybe ask the tarot cards and we shall see…. 

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